Discussing Change
Projects & Learning/Organizational Change/Discussing Change
Crucial conversations and differentiated leadership
I have a goal that is wildly important to the success of our blended learning initiative in my school. I believe students should have the opportunity to learn at their own pace using video instead of struggling with the sage on the stage lecture format. (See “My Why” )
I have outlined a way to execute my change initiative using the 4DX model (McChesney, Covey, & Huling, 2016) (see "Executing Change"), and developed a framework for influencing adoption through motivation and skill-building (see "Leading Change"). But to successfully implement my plan, I will need to be a leader who can push past resistance and sabotage from colleagues who are uncomfortable with change. I will need to become a differentiated leader, who can lead with compassion and inclusivity. To be this type of leader, I will need to regulate my emotions and push past my own anxieties so I can effectively conduct crucial conversations with my colleagues and help manage their anxieties about change (Camp, 2010).
We see so many examples of divisive leadership in today’s world. We also see that it does not work. Divisive leaders act like a virus, infecting others with anxiety, spreading gossip, and demurring from one-on-one confrontation (Camp, 2010). Being an inclusive leader, a differentiated leader, means engaging in healthy, crucial conversations that contribute to a shared pool of meaning and build relationships. A crucial conversation is one where opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong (Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, & Switzler, 2012). When faced with these conversations I must:
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Start with the heart – Focus on what I really want out of our conversations and avoid taking a conversation in an unbeneficial direction.
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Learn to look – Look for when conversations become crucial, monitor my reactions, watch for the reactions of others, and make sure we do not resort to silence or violence tactics.
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Make it safe – Make others feel safe in a conversation by apologizing if needed, using contrasting statements to fix any misunderstandings, finding a way to establish mutual purpose, and maintaining mutual respect.
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Master my stories – Base my side of a conversation on facts and not assumptions, then trace the path of the real story. I will do this by:
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Explore others’ paths – Find out the views of others and avoid unnecessary disagreements by:
- Sharing my facts
- Telling my story
- Asking for others’ paths
- Talking tentatively, and
- Encouraging testing.
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Move to action – Find our path to action by establishing who should make decisions, who is responsible for what, and how we will follow up.
- asking
- mirroring
- paraphrasing, and
- priming
Then,
- agreeing
- building, and
- comparing.
In general, a lot of what is necessary to have a successful crucial conversation seems like it should be common sense: be honest, be kind, and keep your goals in mind. It is easy to forget these key concepts, however, when emotions run high. That is why I can use the steps above as a guide to help control my emotions and anxieties around these types of conversations.
By regulating my emotions and anxiety, and following the key concepts above to conduct beneficial crucial conversations, I can enlist key influencers to help spread my change initiative. With their help, and by addressing any resistance in an honest and compassionate manner, I hope to become the leader my change initiative needs to be successfully implemented for our students.
References:
Camp, J., Friedman’s Theory of Differentiated Leadership Made Simple [Video file]. (2010). Retrieved February 17, 2021, from https://youtu.be/RgdcljNV-Ew
Grenny, J., Patterson, K., Maxfield, D., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2013). Influencer: The new science of leading change. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
McChesney, C., Covey, S., & Huling, J. (2016). The 4 disciplines of execution: Achieving your wildly important goals. New York: Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster.
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2012). Crucial conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high. New York: McGraw-Hill.